Can't seem to stop crying...

According to my best friend, my hair is flat, my eyes are sunken with dark circles, I can not be bothered to wear makeup and I always seem sad...

I do not seem to handling my fathers death real well, I am very sad, and there was so much left unresolved. I wish that I could have just one last time to tell him that I loved him, and how sorry I am for all the times I hurt him. I do not know where to go from here, I always thought that I would have my father in my life, and I certainly was positive that he would one day walk me down the aisle.

I can not go back on what I have done in my pass, I can only go forward. I pray that I am able to live my life and become someone that would have made my father proud.